Vulnerability, Coping Mechanisms, and Courage

Last night I watched Brene Brown’s Netflix special “The Call To Courage”.  Many years ago I listened to her Audible book “The Power of Vulnerability” and realized that although I can be very open, I wasn’t always vulnerable.  Being vulnerable takes a lot of courage. With so much judgement and shamers in a sometimes cruel world we tend to protect ourselves and build a wall. Unfortunately, when we do this we also close off having deep and meaningful relationships with ourselves and others closing down our energy centers.

In my journey of self-healing and knowing thyself, I’ve had to look at the things about myself that have been part of my coping mechanisms from childhood and past trauma.  Brene started talking about pain that got me thinking about how I handled or not handled my own pain so well.

“It is so much easier to cause pain than feel pain, and people are taking their pain and they’re working it out on other people,” she said, “and when you don’t acknowledge your vulnerability, you work your shit out on other people. Stop working your shit out on other people.”  Brene Brown

This morning I was still thinking about what Brene said and how my personality and coping mechanisms have caused others pain.  We see this all the time in relationships or things like road rage. It’s like playing “tag, you’re it” with pain. Then, there are those that bottle up their pain, inflicting more pain upon themselves or holding it all in and then exploding out of nowhere.  None of this is healthy.

In my previous newsletter I wrote about compassionate communication. When we start being brave and showing up for ourselves and others we open the door to connecting and having compassionate communication. It definitely takes a lot of courage to be open and vulnerable.  We risk being judged or shamed. I’ve thought about this in sharing these not so pleasant things about myself, but I know in order to heal it I have to own my shit. When we do this it also opens the door to feeling more love, joy, and happiness. Anger, shame, resentment, and bitterness are all burdensome and lead to many health issues and diseases by eating away at our bodies.

Next time you are upset about something, ask yourself where it is really coming from.  Do you feel unheard, unloved, in fear, or shame? I find that most things that we think are angering us are really repressed from something more deep rooted.  We’ll then express through other means or outlets that are more justified. It’s much easier to be angry about something unfair in the news or yell at someone who cut you off in traffic than express feeling unloved or unworthy.

When we remove our masks and tear down our walls, we are able to connect and relate to each other in ways we didn’t know were possible.

Thank you for being apart of my journey!

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