Start Saying “NO” to Reclaim Your Power

I’ve always had a hard time saying “No”.  I would take on too much then grow resentful when I had to follow through and didn’t have the time, energy or enthusiasm to do it.  I’ll be honest, I’m still working on this. Shortly after my 50th birthday I decided that I needed to put my self-care needs first, before I could be my best for others.  This meant re-prioritizing my life and dropping people and things that were subtracting instead of adding to my self-care.  Think about the people or commitments you have going on that are not serving you. If you don’t feel excited and energized by it or them, then let it go.  We teach people how to treat us. That’s why it’s important to take your power back and put your self-care first. This is vital to healing. Helping people and being taken advantage of are two completely different things.  You’ll be able to tell the difference by how people respond. Those that have your best interest should not be mad at you for you saying “no” especially if they know you are on a healing journey.

Some of you may be in a position that you cannot let these people go, especially if you are a parent or caretaker for someone who is terminally ill. I would go through your schedule/day and see where you may be wasting time.  We all do it with mindless social media scrolling or zoning in front of the TV. Replace the time wasters with a bubble bath, meditation, journaling, self-development reading and listening material or whatever you find relaxing.  This doesn’t mean having a bottle of wine! I know you think it’s a stress relief, but it’s not. It may take a while to train those loved ones how to treat you by setting up some boundaries. When they start seeing you take care of yourself, not only do you show them that your self-care is important, but also show them in your example that their self-care is important for them too.  Until you are feeling stronger and less stressed you may need to move some people to your outer circle for a while.

“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brene Brown

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